


Kindly.

by RaccoonEyedNerd



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, F/F, they don't even kiss so don't throw rocks at me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonEyedNerd/pseuds/RaccoonEyedNerd
Summary: Hyunjin craves to feel superior, and for once, she finds someone who makes her feel equal.





	Kindly.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I'm grateful for the support and every kind word you say about my work or even the time you take to read through these, it means the world to me and keeps me going. A big thank you to all of you.
> 
> Won't say much besides reminding you that this can't be read through "mature" eyes, because that's not the point at all; this is not about sexual desire, it's desire of something else, deeper.
> 
> Link to the vid I made on this concept a while ago, this might evolve into that, or not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhI4JWCdFhI

It’s hard not to love the city when you are its child, a fast-paced humanity running across concrete veins made her heart beat at the same tempo, too bored too easily; mistakes often seen as a mere excuse for fun where it wasn’t supposed to be found, yet Hyunjin always managed to achieve her goal, this time being find something new to do.

 

This time the idea comes in a random conversation with Olivia, who’s once again complaining about her father being gross with his new wife and wanting to get drunk in order to get the image of the both of them out of her head. Hyunjin smirks at her after a rather inappropriate remark and the both friends already think of a plan inside their heads to make it happen.

 

“I can’t believe they still buy the fake ID’s” Olivia chuckles, and walks through the people beside her in order to get to the bar.

 

“It’s not the ID’s, look at us, Hyejoo; we look like a million dollars. Money it’s worth more than law, anywhere, anytime.” Hyunjin boredly replies over the loud music, actually uninterested on the idea of dancing and having random people grinding against her designer jacket. “Anyway, we’re out to hunt tonight.”

 

Olivia leans forward to make herself heard over the noise without raising her voice too much and get discovered by whoever was around them and cared enough to tell the security people that two kids, both sixteen and seventeen years old, managed to get into the very exclusive club.

 

“Are you really that into…”

 

She leaves the sentence unfinished since Hyunjin only shrugs and takes her wrist to pull her towards the bar, where the both of them ask for a couple margaritas.

 

Hyunjin turns around to look on the crowd, excitement bubbling on her blood when she finds herself once again in square one; the game it’s what really keeps her sane lately, since her young and overwhelmed mind keeps running with the money on her parents account and the things she already possesses aren’t enough for her to feel completely at ease. Hyunjin needs the power over the people around her, that’s the only thing that keeps her going; she lives for the thirsty looks older women and men send in her direction, but she totally adores being able to over-smart them, keep them around her little finger so she can throw them away as soon as she feels sated over the real advantage she takes from them.

 

Proving that she’s better and smarter.

 

“Someone would say you have a little mommy issue going on.” Olivia jokes, sipping on her drink while shamelessly stealing glances of another girl that, at least, looked younger that Hyunjin’s usual targets.

 

“Call it whatever you want, but it gets boring when all the kids on school already love our money and do whatever we say anyway.”

 

For a moment, her look darkens, and Olivia sighs because they know exactly what they’re doing, and they want to be logical and drop it but life makes it difficult for anyone in different ways and in their case, those difficulties came with an empty life, filled with everything and ironically covered in a whole space of nothingness.

 

Hyunjin wants to open her mouth and say something that’s been biting the back of her thoughts since a long time, but all of her words end up being swallowed when another voice sounds close to them.

 

“Just a glass of bourbon, please.” The woman politely says and the bartender seems to be taken aback by the courtesy of her tone; Hyunjin doesn’t have to turn and look at her because Olivia’s faces tells her all she needs to know.

 

The woman must be beautiful, or look more expensive than them, because the younger girl looks like she could start blushing hard at any moment and it’s not like her to fall so easily for someone’s looks.

 

She looks at the glass on the bar, her margarita almost staring back at her while she ponders about her plan; as any teenager, her thoughts drift away soon, but not away enough to ignore the words that now are directed to her in sympathy, Olivia already lost in the crowd, probably with the woman she had been ogling.

 

“Not quite the place where I thought I’d find someone looking so… thoughtful.”

 

Hyunjin turns to look at her and fights back a smile because Olivia’s tastes almost match hers, and the woman is indeed beautiful. There’s something off on her, but, as any immature teenager, Hyunjin thinks she already has all the answers and decides to ignore whatever secret the woman seems to hide under long lashes and red pretty lips.

 

“Certainly not the place where someone should care.” She shots back, and the woman shakes her head with a small, knowing smile.

 

Hyunjin hates feeling like she’s missing something from that moment.

 

“Your friend and you shouldn’t be here, isn’t it?” She says uninterestedly, sipping her bourbon slowly, almost like she’s provoking Hyunjin to do something, daring her to prove her wrong.

 

Or maybe it’s just Hyunjin’s paranoia.

 

The young girl just shrugs, not really giving the woman unnecessary information; she doesn’t get to hear it because of the loud music booming in the club, but she’s sure the woman is chuckling. Hyunjin thinks she hates her a little more and she leans towards her, pretending she couldn’t be heard if she didn’t erase a bit of space between them.

 

The woman doesn’t push her away when she puts a gentle hand on her denim-cladded shoulder, and Hyunjin considers this a little win.

 

“Would you mind entertaining me for a bit? Suddenly this doesn’t seem fun and maybe you confused my boredom with thoughtfulness.” She says loud enough to be heard, close to the woman’s face.

 

Hyunjin tries so hard not to smile when she feels the woman’s hand place itself on the side of her waist.

 

“Your lack of skill to hide your intentions it’s really concerning.” The woman says against the skin of her cheek, somehow managing to look respectful and being dangerously close at the same time. “Still, I’d like to hear it coming from your lips so I can be sure.”

 

The woman seems to notice the shift on Hyunjin’s stance when her hand slowly becomes a fist on her shoulder, still, she doesn’t let go of her waist.

 

“Would you mind me having a decent conversation with you over a couple drinks?” The woman offers.

 

“My name is Hyunjin.” She replies instead.

 

Desire tends to go both ways after all, even if it’s two different types.

 

A blur, and a couple texts explaining Olivia about her whereabouts and making sure she would be okay -turns out, the woman she was looking at was an old friend from some weird club she belonged to- and Hyunjin finds herself pressed against the wall of her apartment unit on the other side of the city (a birthday present from her dad), dark eyes searching for doubts on her own and rendering her helpless because she hadn’t taken the time to really appreciate the woman’s face in the club and now her breath was being stolen away by the little constellation drawn on her face; she mentally connected the dots on her face, trying to resist the physical impulse to do something about the burning feeling on her lungs and stomach. Her lips are no joke either; Hyunjin it’s not the kind of girl that would get poetical about describing another person but suddenly she can write down hundreds of metaphors she could compare the woman’s face to.

 

And yet, they’re not kissing.

 

The teenager is confused, because the stranger it’s definitely tipsy, and she’s more than sure that the dress she was hiding under her jacket was enough to make anyone drool but she still doesn’t touch her in any other place than her arms and waist.

 

It’s painfully ironic to witness how she’s being looked at like she’s a prey but she isn’t really being treated like one.

 

Hyunjin hates how unpredictable the woman is, and she tries to voice it out, but she has to bite back a sigh when her fingers graze the skin on her arm.

 

“Who are you?” The woman asks, voice soft and composed even though her pupils are as dark as Hyunjin’s hair. “And why do you want this so desperately?”

 

“What do you think I want?” Hyunjin moans on purpose when the woman’s fingers press on the small of her back, and she watches with satisfaction how she swallows.

 

“Validation of some sort.”

 

They press their foreheads together and the young girl starts taking the denim jacket from the woman’s shoulders before throwing it away, guiding her back until her legs touch the side of the bed and she pulls her down, on top of her. She supports her weight on her hands and Hyunjin wants nothing more than pull her down and kiss her, desire evident on her inpatient whines when the object of her sudden wants runs the tip of her nose over her cheek and down to her jaw.

 

She refuses to beg for a touch, anything, and the woman seems to perceive that and still doesn’t deliver something to gift her with the littlest of relieves.

 

The woman just, stays there, taking in her perfume and feeling her warmth against her.

 

Hyunjin hates her even more when she finally presses her lips against her skin, but it ends up being a delicate kiss on her forehead.

 

“Why aren’t you giving in?” She finds herself asking, her tongue peeking out to lick her own lower lip slowly.

 

“Because there’s no want in your doubts.” The woman whispers and Hyunjin whimpers when her hands find her waist; the young girls hands end on her hair pulling it back so they can stare at each other and doubt together without any obstacle.

 

Hyunjin never felt more lost than she did when the stranger smiled at her softly, finally figuring her out, unveiling the dangers of her skin and the dark corners of her early-disturbed mind.

 

“Don’t fly too far away, little bird; don’t get lost in that mind of yours”

 

“Let me get lost in you instead.” Hyunjin finds herself replying, almost begging, keeping the woman’s face on her hands to make sure she doesn’t fade into nothingness, just like her resolve to sell herself to the devil to look worthy. “Touch the night away and tell me your name so I can say it for you over and over again.”

 

The young girl arches her back towards the woman, practically surrendering herself to her to be taken and she tries not to melt on the mattress when she sees the spark of carnal desire flashing on her eyes; Hyunjin knows how beautiful she is, she knows how attractive her body is and how her voice seems to put a spell on every person she speaks to, but she finds herself being a child again under the look of wisdom and mature longing on the older woman; Hyunjin wants to please her, for the first time she’s thinking on the pleasure of someone else instead of her own, and the sole thought it’s making her lose yet another strand of sanity.

 

“Mina” She hears and she forgets the hell hole she came from. “My name is Mina.”

 

It’s heaven.

 

But it’s different from what she expected.

 

The woman’s- Mina’s hands abandon the mattress as she sits in between her legs, and Hyunjin’s breath gets caught on her throat when her surprisingly rough fingers trace down her legs firmly until they get to her ankles. Her shoes are left beside the bed and soon she’s embraced by the older woman, skillful hands getting rid of her dress and replacing it with her own bare arms and soon, the bedsheets.

 

“Please, do not confuse my thoughtfulness with lack of desire, Hyunjin.” Mina sighs when Hyunjin slides her fingers through her hair, still refusing to let her go. “And don’t restrict your beauty to the emptiness of a one-night stand.”

 

“What do you know about me?” Hyunjin says, exasperated, still trying to tempt the woman by letting her bra strap slide down her shoulder.

 

“You’re so strong-willed, Hyunjin.” Mina lets out a breathy laugh, and Hyunjin takes her time to appreciate how graceful the woman is when she fixes her own hair and sits besides her now covered semi-naked body. “What if we make a deal?”

 

“What kind of a deal?”

 

Hyunjin is still a kid, still curious.

 

Mina only looks at her, pupils still blown and breathing still labored even though they didn’t ever share a kiss on the lips; Hyunjin would later realize that what had that effect on her was more about the connection than the act itself, and what a connection the woman had achieved on her heart and her whole body with that magnificent stance and beautiful neck resting over collarbones she wished she could kiss hiding under that white shirt she almost ripped apart out of pure want.

 

“If you still want me in the morning, I will be yours, Hyunjin.” Mina extends her hand towards her, and Hyunjin, without a trace of doubt, interlaces their fingers while her eyes close slowly thanks to the ever-growing effect of alcohol.

 

“Stay with me tonight.” She asks, the burning feeling on her skin fading away as the sensation of softness and tiredness replace it.

 

Hyunjin falls asleep to the sound of Mina’s breathing against the back of her neck, her arms around her as she had figured out she was a child only by the way she looked at her.

 

She doesn’t dream about anything that particular night

 

Yet, she finds herself alone in the bed the next morning, the weight of a lie and a broken promise being more prominent than the characteristic headache because of the hangover when she lifts her head from the pillow to find a single note beside her bed, alongside her fake ID and her _very real school ID._

 

She forgot about the goddamn ID on her jacket pocket.

 

_“Would you kindly?”_

 

It’s polite, and not cold but surely full of regret and disappointment.

 

Hyunjin wonders if Mina feels disgust after almost having sex with a minor, if she feels guilty and hates herself for almost giving in and making a promise she would have fulfilled either way because she surely looked like the kind of woman that could do so.

 

Hyunjin almost feels guilty too.

 

Almost.

 

But she’s a teenager, and she hates her as much as she desires her, so pride takes over and the power her parents carry on their pockets remind her of her authority.

 

Her expression turns bitter as she gathers her belongings, gets dressed and texts her friend to let her know she’s okay and she’s going back home.

 

It’s ironic to think about, how much she wants to escape and yet she comes back each time because she’s still not enough.

 

For who?

 

She’s not sure anymore.

 

“I’m worried about you, honey” Her father says warmly, kissing the top of her head before sitting in front of her at the dining table, her mother beside her as she eats. “You need more than school, there’s so much potential in you.”

 

“You could do anything you want and excel at it” Her mother adds.

 

_Why didn’t she want me then?_

 

“So, your mother and I gave it a thought and decided that maybe you could be back to music this year, we know how much you enjoyed playing the cello.”

 

_I want her, she’s what I want to excel at._

 

“You told me to quit when I didn’t win the competition.” She finds herself replying in disbelief, the venom almost escaping her lips, almost.

 

“And that was our mistake. Honey, we thought of music as a sport and we feel ashamed of it; still, we know you loved the cello so we took the chance and fixed yours and hired a new instructor to get you back in shape.”

 

Hyunjin blinks rapidly when her mother smiles at her more warmly than she ever did, and her father looks almost as proud as he did when she learned how to ride a polo horse.

 

“Your instructor is waiting for you on the music room.” Her father says, and both him and her mother follow her when her most primary instinct as a child kicks in.

 

She’s curious and eager.

 

The hallway seems longer as she takes long steps towards the wide white doors hiding all the things she ever loved.

 

She wants to laugh at the irony of it all when she opens the doors and finds her there, playing her cello as if it was an instrument of her own the whole time.

 

_Mina._

 

“Would you kindly?” She finds herself breathing out, not sure if she should smile or just start crying. Her parents confuse the crack of her voice with eagerness and teenage nervousness.

 

But they don’t see the corrupted playfulness on her eyes, the knowing smile on her mouth.

 

When she meets her eyes, when _Mina_ meets her eyes, the woman’s face gets paler than Hyunjin remembers, the dark eyes of a predator replaced by the innocent look of someone so confused and surprised that might as well be a deer in highlights.

 

She still feels it though.

 

She sees it on the way she grabs the bow.

 

And she listens to it on the strings that make contact with it.

 

There’s still want, there’s still desire... And there’s something else too.

 

“Of course, Miss Kim” She says so politely, Hyunjin wants to melt. “What would you like to begin with?”


End file.
